.: It's Just One Of Those Days... :.

Results are out. DAMN.

What's even worse is I haven't gotten mine. Which is making me even more nervous and anxious as each day goes by. Everyone in class is announcing their results on Facebook. And everytime I see a post like that I feel that my heart is pumping so fast it's gonna jump out from my throat.

Another thing I feel really pissed about is how FAKE some people can be. They'll say to me, "OMG I don't have any time to study" or "OMFG I have no idea how to answer half the questions just now". Their results? ALL PASS. One even got distinction.

WTF?!

Had a crappy day today. Maybe it's my hormone level. Maybe it's the continuously changing weather. Maybe it's all the fakers around me who keeps pretending that life is so beautiful and peaceful, everyone lives happily ever after.

Whatever the cause, I had a terrible day.

Called Chung Wui just now and talked to him for 20 minutes. But actually I was crying for about 5 minutes in between, then kept sobbing afterwards. But letting everything out felt so good. I guess I'm really too stressed right now. But the worst part is that I couldn't even find someone to talk to. So I turned to my best buddy and sure enough, he never lets me down.

Thanks a lot buddy. =)

Gonna continue studying my Physiology now. 6 days to freedom, 7 days to home. =)

A lot of people seem to not understand facial expressions. They always seem to say the wrong things at the wrong time. So I've decided to compile the 5 signs which shows I'm pissed/not in the mood/angry.

1. I'm very quiet and won't feel like talking.
Yes, believe that. I'm usually very talkative and crappy. If I'm pissed I'll be very very quiet. This is when I'm in my own little world trying to sort things out. During this time, please don't talk to me. You'll either a) get no response, b) get a short response (usually less than 3 words) or c) be stared at for 5 seconds and then I'll walk away.

2. I'm singing loudly.
I know I'm not good at singing. I know I don't have a nice voice. Hell, who cares? I sing when I'm pissed. That's how I release my stress. If I'm alone in the room the speakers will be on till maximum and you can hear Linkin Park three floors down. If I'm not alone, my earphones will be on and I'll continue to be in my own little world.

3. Sleep.
Rather than crossing someone with swear words, I'll choose to sleep. Don't care how long I sleep. If I sleep for 24 hours, let me. If I'm sleeping for 48 hours, let me. Usually I'll be fine after I wake up from a nice, refreshing sleep. (P/S: Take note of the word USUALLY. Which means it's not 100%).

4. Eat.
Yes, food is the best indulgence IMO. Usually I'll prefer something nice, like chocolate or sweet chocolate cookies or chocolate ice-cream. Add a honeydew milkshake and I'll be back to normal in no time. =)

5. Please refer to 1-4.

So please, people. Read this entry. And try to understand that my hormone levels are never normal. Just bear with me.

Thank you~ =)

Had a really busy day today. Started Monday morning with the usual Monday blues, was half asleep during Anatomy class, and at 9a.m. rushed to Physiology lab. Spent 2 hours looking at slides on blood smears trying to identify leucocytes (aka white blood cells). Found a lot of neutrophils, lymphocytes and some monocytes, but failed to find any basophils.

Until I played around with the microscope, turning left and right, up and down, and found a round, pinkish cell. I thought it was an eosinophil, but when the lab assistant came and said it was a BASOPHIL. Imagine our surprise! Since basophils are the least WBC in your blood, consisting of 0-1% ONLY, it was miraculous to find even one. So we were the lucky ones.

SCREW FACEBOOK FOR SAYING I WAS ONLY 6% LUCKY TODAY.

Then after lab we went straight to cafe where we were suppose to wait to present our ESAP (English for Specific Academic Purposes) forum. I had actually called and booked the teacher at 12p.m., but when we arrived at 11.30a.m. he was already there, so we just went head-in and presented. Thank God it was okay. Hu~~ =)

After that went for lunch and Physiology class as usual. However the big bomb came after class. We had Moral Studies from 4p.m. to 7p.m., and today was our turn to do our presentation. The slides had been completed, but still needed to be compiled into one. That's when one of my friends came up and said to me, "Hey, we need to pass up a 10-page book report to the teacher. TODAY."

Screw that! How are we suppose to puke out a 10-page report in 30 minutes? Anyhow we just decided to use whatever LIMITED information we have, copy and paste, edit the font and font size, then print out and hand it in. Anyhow I did manage to cough up a 10-page book report in 30 minutes. It simply proves that WHEN THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY. =)

Entered class late, did our presentation which lasted ONLY about 10 minutes, then escaped class with the excuse that we were attending a committee meeting. Clever huh? XD The worst part was that before we left, we handed the book report to her only to get the answer, "Oh, you pass up tomorrow lah, I lazy want to collect now."

WTF?! SCREW YOU!! ..i..

However, the best part about today was during lunch hour when I got a call from an unknown number. Thinking it's probably someone dialing the wrong number again, I answered the call only to get this introduction, "Hello? Penny ar? This is Jia En ar, your NS friend. Still remember me or not?"

I was speechless for 2 seconds. NS friend?! I hadn't contacted any single one of them since last year! OMG it's been almost 2 years! How quickly does time flies, huh? I was so happy to hear from her till the extend my friend got shocked at my expression. Feeling rather embarassed as I was at the cafe with so many people around me, I told her I'll call back later. And I did. And we talked for another half an hour before she had to leave for work.

Felt lucky today =). But seeing both of them together again made my mood drop instantly from 100% to 1%. I guess I'm really in too deep this time.

As 98 Degrees sing in their song "Why Are We Still Friends":

Very very recently I started to get obssessed with perfumes. Call it a sudden craving, but it's true. I woke up one morning and thought to myself, "I wanna buy myself a perfume."

I was at the cyber centre printing lecture notes this morning when they came in. With the only empty chair next to me, he let her sit. And he stood. After awhile the guy beside me left, so he sat down. I was sandwiched between both of them. And I felt helpless.

I looked down on the script sitting on my lap and pretended to memorize my part. Both of them kept talking and laughing, Occasionally he would turn to talk to me, but I felt so pressured I couldn't utter a single word. I just smiled.

Then he realized his pendrive couldn't be detected. So he unplugged it and gave it to her to plug into her computer. She was talking to someone else that time and didn't see his hand, so she reached out blindly trying to grab it.

Instead of taking the pendrive, she touched his hand. Right in front me.

He pretended like nothing happened. She didn't say a single word. I was left speechless. I decided I couldn't stay anymore. I took the stack of printed papers and stood. My hands were shaking as I started to shiver. My friend took the papers from me and started to count the total amount so we could pay and leave. Usually this was my job. But today my mind was not able to think straight. After paying we left.

I never turned around once.

Right now I realise how a complete fool I was. But I couldn't help it. My heart was aching so severly I thought it would burst. It felt like it was being slashed over and over again with a knife. It was bleeding. And it wouldn't stop.

You'll never see me the way you see her. You'll never love me the way you love her. You'll never want me the way you want her. You'll never need me the way you need her.

So why I am still hopelessly in love with you?

Just got a love quote from a Facebook application, and I'm seriously surprised at how it fits the situation I'm in right now.

Someone asked me, "Why do you keep loving someone who doesn't love you back? There are tons of fish in the water." I simply replied, "Just because it's also water, would you drink from the sea?"

I always seem to fall for the wrong person at the wrong time. The funny thing is that it doesn't matter if I like that person first, I'll always be the one to let go. I'm the one who gets heartbroken everytime. I'm letting go because I want him to be happy. I'd rather let him go free to find his happiness than stay beside me and be miserable.

So please, promise me you'll be happy. I know I will.